Four states, not two
Most reply forms have a yes and a no. Real replies have at least four states: coming, not coming, undecided, and no answer at all. The last two are the ones that matter for planning. Undecided is a guest who will answer if asked once more; no answer is a guest who may never have seen the invitation. Collapsing either into “no” makes the catering estimate wrong and the reminder list empty.
Keep silence as its own state, visibly. The people who never replied are the list a reminder is for, and — at the door — the list that walk-ins tend to come from.
From invitation to reply
- Invited250
- Delivered213
- Opened176
- Replied144
- Coming 98
- Undecided 17
- Not coming 29
- No answer yet 106
One record, one link
A reply should land on the same record as the guest’s name, their segment, their plus-one allowance and, on the night, their check-in. The simplest way to guarantee that is a link per guest: the invitation carries a link that is theirs, the reply arrives on their record, and nobody has to type their name into a form that may or may not match the list.
A shared form with a name field is the alternative, and it produces the second copy of every guest — “Ayse Yilmaz”, replying to an invitation addressed to “Ayşe Yılmaz” — that a clean list was supposed to prevent.
Plus-ones
Set the allowance per guest, not per event. A partner of the company gets two; a journalist gets none; the host’s family gets an open allowance. When a guest replies, they name their plus-ones, and each plus-one should be counted, asked the same questions (a plus-one has a meal choice too), and — if the door is on — given a code of their own or covered by the guest’s group code with a count.
A group code is simpler for the guest and harder for the door: four people on one code, three arrive, and the fourth arrives an hour later. The door needs to be able to admit three and keep one open. Decide which model the event uses before the invitations go out; changing it afterwards means re-sending codes.
One reply, one record
- GuestReplies from their own link
- +1Named, counted, coded
- PreferencesThe event’s own questions
- ReminderOnly if still silent
- AttendanceChecked in on the same record
Questions that belong to the event
A wedding asks about meals, allergies and transfers. A conference asks about sessions and whether the guest is attending in person. A private view asks whether the guest is press. The questions belong to the kind of event, and a reply form that asks everybody everything gets fewer replies than one that asks four things that matter.
Keep a free note field. It is where the guest tells you the thing you did not think to ask — the wheelchair, the interpreter, the colleague who has to leave by nine.
Let replies change
People change their minds, and the closer the event the more they change them. The latest reply should count, and the earlier ones should stay in the record: knowing that a guest said yes in May and no in June is planning information, not noise. A form that cannot be re-submitted, or that overwrites the history, makes the guest email you instead — and then the reply is in your inbox, not on the record.
Reminders, and when to stop
One reminder to the people who have not replied, ten days out, is expected. A second, three days out, is tolerated. A third is spam, and it goes to the people least likely to come. Address the reminder to the silence, not to everybody: a guest who replied “not coming” should never be asked again.
Reminders only work if the first invitation arrived. Check the delivery record before you send one: an address that bounced does not need a reminder, it needs a different address.
RSVP against attendance
The number every organiser wants and almost never has is the gap between who said they would come and who did. It is only measurable if the reply and the check-in are on the same record. With that, the morning after gives you two lists by name: those who promised and did not come, and those who came without replying. The first is who to follow up; the second is who to add to next year’s list properly.
Over several events the gap becomes a planning number. If a fifth of yes replies do not show, the caterer’s estimate should say so.
- Four states: coming, not coming, undecided, no answer. Silence stays visible.
- A link per guest; replies land on the guest’s record.
- Plus-one allowances per guest; each plus-one counted, asked, and coded.
- Questions that belong to the event type, plus a free note.
- The latest reply counts; the history stays.
- One reminder to the silence, maybe two, never to those who declined.
- Replies and check-ins on one record, so the gap can be measured by name.
Said yes, and came
- Said yes98
- Came90
- Promised, did not come
- 14
- Came without replying
- 6